Trauma Changes Us

Over the last week or two,  I had the privilege of undertaking further professional training in trauma-informed counselling. One of the greatest privileges of my work is that learning never stops. Every course deepens my understanding of the incredible ways God has designed the human mind and body, and how they respond when we experience overwhelming events.

One of the most important things I was reminded of today is this:

Trauma is not simply something that happened to you. It is what happened inside you because of what happened to you.

When we experience trauma, our brains and nervous systems are designed to protect us. These responses are not signs of weakness or failure—they are signs that your body is trying to keep you alive.

Most people have heard of the fight or flight response, but our nervous system has several instinctive survival responses:

• Fight – confronting danger head-on.
• Flight – escaping from perceived threat.
• Freeze – becoming immobilised when escape feels impossible.
• Fawn – attempting to stay safe by pleasing, appeasing or submitting to others.

These responses occur automatically. They are wired into us long before our thinking brain has the opportunity to weigh up the situation. They were never intended to be permanent ways of living, but after trauma the nervous system can become “stuck,” continuing to react as though danger is still present, even when we are objectively safe.

This is where the work of psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, has transformed our understanding of trauma. His research demonstrates that traumatic experiences are not stored merely as memories. They can also be held within the body itself—in our nervous system, our muscles, our breathing, our emotions and even in the way we perceive relationships.

Many trauma survivors find themselves saying:

“I know I’m safe… but I don’t feel safe.”

That statement makes perfect sense when we understand how trauma affects the brain and body.

The encouraging news is that our brains remain capable of change throughout life. Through safe relationships, compassionate counselling, appropriate therapeutic approaches, and, for many people, the sustaining presence of God, the nervous system can gradually learn that the danger has passed.

As Christians, this truth resonates deeply with Scripture. We worship a God who understands suffering intimately. Jesus Himself experienced betrayal, abandonment, injustice, violence and profound emotional anguish. He meets us not only in our spiritual struggles but also in our emotional wounds.

Psalm 147:3 reminds us:

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Healing from trauma is rarely instant. It is often a gentle process of helping the mind and body rediscover safety, rebuilding trust, and learning that the past does not have to dictate the future.

Today’s training reinforced something I see regularly in counselling:

You are not “too damaged.” You are not broken beyond repair. Your nervous system adapted to help you survive. Now, with the right support, it can also learn to heal.

I felt that is a message of hope worth sharing.