For several years I belonged to an online chat community. This was a group with mates I had grown up with. Most of the conversation revolved around everyday topics, humour, and shared interests. Every so often, I would post something different—a Bible verse, a Christian reflection, or a thought about faith and belonging.
Not everyone welcomed it.
What began as occasional disagreement gradually became ridicule. My beliefs were mocked. Sarcastic comments became increasingly personal. Instead of engaging with what I had written, some chose to attack me for writing it at all. Others remained silent. A few joined in. Eventually I found myself increasingly isolated, alienated, and ultimately removed from the group.
The experience taught me something profound about cyberbullying.
Online hostility rarely begins with outright persecution. More often it starts with small acts of exclusion, ridicule, or public humiliation. Once a group decides that someone no longer belongs, it becomes surprisingly easy for individuals to suppress their own conscience and simply follow the crowd.
As a Christian counsellor, I find this psychologically fascinating and spiritually sobering.
History repeatedly demonstrates how conformity can become more powerful than compassion. George Orwell captured this brilliantly through Napoleon in Animal Farm, who gradually consolidated power by rewarding loyalty, silencing dissent, and encouraging unquestioning obedience. The novel reminds us how easily truth can be rewritten when people stop thinking independently.
We witnessed an even darker reality during the Second World War. Many atrocities were not committed solely by a handful of leaders but were enabled by countless ordinary individuals who chose obedience over conscience. History has shown us how authoritarian systems can grow when people fear standing apart from the majority, remain silent in the face of injustice, or participate because “everyone else is doing it.”
Totalitarianism rarely begins with concentration camps or dictators. It often begins with something far smaller: discouraging questions, mocking those who think differently, rewarding conformity, and punishing dissent. When people are afraid to speak honestly because they fear ridicule or exclusion, the seeds of authoritarian thinking have already been planted.
This is not merely a political observation—it is a human one. Every one of us is capable of joining a crowd instead of listening to our conscience.
Yet my story does not end with rejection.
One of the hardest lessons Christ teaches is forgiveness.
As Jesus hung upon the cross, abandoned, mocked, falsely accused, and publicly humiliated, He uttered words that continue to challenge every human heart:
“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)
Those words are astonishing.
Jesus did not deny the injustice. He did not pretend that cruelty was acceptable. But He refused to allow hatred to become the final word.
Forgiveness does not mean pretending the hurt never happened. It does not excuse bullying or abuse. Nor does it require remaining in unhealthy environments. Rather, forgiveness frees us from allowing bitterness to control our future. It entrusts justice to God while protecting our own hearts from becoming consumed by resentment.
Looking back, I genuinely pray for those who mocked me, rejected me, or celebrated my removal. I bear them no ill will. I hope they experience God’s grace just as I continually need His grace myself.
Cyberbullying leaves real wounds. It can affect confidence, relationships, mental health, and our sense of belonging. But it does not define who we are.
Our identity is not determined by a chatroom, social media platform, or the approval of strangers. It is found in Christ.
Perhaps the greatest test of Christian character is not how we treat those who agree with us, but how we respond when we ourselves are misunderstood, rejected, or excluded.
May we be people who speak truth with gentleness, disagree with respect, resist the temptation to follow hostile crowds, and remember that every person—even the one we disagree with—is created in the image of God.
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” (Matthew 5:9)
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